Sucks to be sick…

…because now I find things like THIS funny:

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1 ) That’s not right… …Sum Ting Wong
2 ) Are you harboring a fugitive? …Hu Yu Hai Ding
3 ) See me ASAP… …Kum Hia Nao
4 ) Stupid Man… … Dum Fuk
5 ) Small Horse… …Tai Ni Po Ni
6 ) Did you go to the Beach?…Wai Yu So Tan
7 ) I bumped into a coffee table…Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8 ) I think you need a face lift…Chin Tu Fat
9 ) It’s very dark in here…Wao So Dim
10 ) I thought you were on a diet…Wai Yu Mun Ching
11 ) This is a tow away zone…,No Pah King
12 ) Our meeting is next week…Wai Yu Kum Nao
13 ) Staying out of sight…Le i Ying Lo
14 ) He’s cleaning his automobile…Wa Shing Ka
15 ) Your body odor is offensive…Yu Stin Ki Pu
16 ) Great… …Fa Kin Su Pah

Credit goes to Ebebe for the email. :]

Piano auditions [oh god.]

As you all probably know from my past week of ranting, piano auditions were today.

…

—

[Home, all morning]

I got up at 6 A.M., and did nothing but play the same two pieces for the next six hours.

Then i changed out of my bathrobe, ate something(i dont remember), didn’t brush my hair, and drove to Saratoga.

—

[Waiting room, 12:45 PM]

I met up with the girl I was accompanying[duet]. Her mom offered me twenty dollars, to which I very asian-ly declined (twice!) before snatching out of her hands.

So Hannah goes into the room, and I wait outside while she finishes her first two solos.

When I thought she had finished, I slammed the door open, charged into the room, and screamed out to the world: HELLOOOO! I’M HEREEEEEE!

Judge: She’s not done. Sit down.

Me: …Yes ma’am.

FML

—

On the plus side, Hannah’s duet went without any problems.

Unfortunately, I was next. In the same room, with the same judge, to whom I had just given the world’s crappiest first impression.

First was Gershwin. It went perfectly until the end, when I forgot how to play the end notes. I played the second-to-last measure three times in different variations until  I remembered.

By then I was freaking SCARED.

So my impromptu came along, and I was so nervous that I played it about 3x faster than normal. It was 14 pages. I was in pain.

In the middle of the piece, I had a massive memory slip. I seriously couldn’t remember what was next, so…

Me: [suddenly very cocky] I’m completely tone deaf! A musical genius! I can improvise this!

[strange gothic sounding playing here]

When I finally got back on track, I was so relieved I wanted to cry.

And then when I ended:

Me: I’m-PANTGASPWHEEZE!-done…

Judge: [look of immense shock][scribbles something on the paper]

—

And as if the judge couldn’t hate me any more than she already did:

[Waiting room, after testing]

Me: [In a corner, by myself] SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM! Do it with me Hannah! SCREAM!

Hannah:[Runs over dutifully] EEE!

Me: That’s right! WORK IT.

Someone from behind me: Auditions are still in session. Keep it DOWN.

I turned around, it was my judge.

—

WTF. I’m so screwed.

:O

I just noticed…that my post dates are a whole day ahead.

And I don’t know how to fix it. >[

 

I am SO sorry. :[

Lately I’ve been looking forward to having another girl in my badminton class.

So today I go to Smash City, and there’s a new student! A very, very, pretty guy. (Asian pop culture hair and earrings).

So I decide to be friendly cuz everyone else in my class is a dick.

Me: “OH! Are you joining our class! I kinda wanted another girl but it’s nice to meet you! :]”

Very Pretty Asian Guy: “…”

Me: “I mean, I thought we’d be getting another girl. :]”

VPAG: “…”

Me: “?”

VPAG: “I am a girl.”

Me: :O  [massive mental meltdown]

Dicks 1, 2, 3: [crack up very hard and are no help at all]

—

For the rest of the class, the dicks addressed her as: Annie’s boyfriend.

—

Shet. I wonder what kind of impression we made.

2008 Epic [fail] Application

While cleaning up my computer, I found the article I submitted as part of my application to the Epic[school newspaper] last year.

I didn’t make it in, btw.  :[

—

In this current day and age, there seems to be an undisputed law that college means everything to a student’s future. This may be true, but the narrow-mindedness of this has increased dramatically as the times have worsened. The Department of Education has recorded some 6,962 colleges and universities in the United States, but according to most parents, there are really only 4: Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, and Yale. Give and take some, this handful of “acceptable” colleges may vary among parents, but the bottom line stays the same: don’t make one of these you might as well be an unemployed lowlife for the rest of your life.

A couple weeks ago, I had tagged along on one of my mother’s weekly lunchtime tea parties held at a local friend’s house. There, I was introduced to said friend’s 18-year-old daughter. “She’s going to Berkeley,” the mother proudly exclaimed. My mother immediately got a predatory gleam in her eyes; the type that only surfaces when she is faced with either incredible bargains or the topic of colleges.

On the car ride home, my mother launched into one of her long, winded, often repetitive lectures-not-rants about the importance of studying and grades to your future college. “Did you hear about Kathryn?” She asked me, “She’s only going to go to Berkeley because she’s not in debate!”

She’s only going to Berkeley? Since when has the word “only” been used to describe Berkeley? And what does speech and debate have to do with this? My mother then proceeded to ask me just what Rice University was, and oh, it must be a horrible college because only mediocre schools are named after a cereal grain.

This kind of thinking is what leads to the overwhelming pressure every time college applications roll around. Sometime in the past decade, students have stopped trying to find colleges right for them, and started trying to make themselves right for colleges. Colleges may be your key to success, but our successes don’t always have to  lie within the Harvard campus.

—